Getting Sassy!

Today was my first day of following the fast forward of Sass yourself Slim by the amazing Cynthia Sass.
Breakfast  8:45 . Wasn't hungry but I am used to skipping this important meal each day. Otherwise feeling great, excited etc. Skipped my normal coffee with cream and splenda, didn't miss it at all.
Snack 1:45 Almost forgot to eat! I was meeting with a client when my stomach interrupted our session lol. Luckily it was a 13 year old girl who was awesome and said "you really need to eat". She pulled out a bag of crackers for herself and I grabbed my snack. Felt great that my body for once told me when to eat. I normally would have ignored these cues and went through all the rest of my sessions probably to hit up a fast food joint on my way home out of starvation. My mood and energy were still good.
Lunch 5:15 Finally after a ride home that was interesting (explained below), I hit my danger zone. Usually this is when most of my "diet" attempts fail but I put my lunch together . My 5 year old even asked me to make her a little salad and she ate a "snack" of spinach almonds and an organic ranch dressing while I ate too. Still good mood and energy and realized I was pleasantly satisfied physically but my mind was bugging me with cravings.
Dinner 8:45 I was actually hungry earlier than this but was at soccer with my 5 year old and so that distracted me and gave me a chance to really check in with my body. I did have physical hunger pains but knew my meal was coming up very soon. My tummy growled as I had my smoothie following the fast forward recipie. I finnished it all and drank a large glass of water and again am satisfied.
As I write this I am feeling a little anxious about the days ahead but only because I have started and quit so many times. I do enjoy all the foods on the fast forward plan though so I know I can tough it out. I just realized too that the only caffine I had today was from a glass of hot green tea. I was in a great mood all day and my anxiety (normal has peaks and valleys) was at a steady low. I have already known the extreme reaction my mental health has to sugar so it feels really good to stay clear headed.



Journal Topic from Sass yourself Slim - (fast forward day 1)
1. Personal unhealthy eating patterns I'd like to change and why -
I currently feel like I have a nasty pattern of anxious eating and excitement eating. If there is any kind of get together that is exciting and or joyful I want to eat or feel the need to over celebrate with food.I have also noticed that I eat when I get anxious to calm myself down except I usually binge on sugar which makes my anxiety worse. I noticed today on my way home that this is a key time when I have failed previous diet plans and I started to get nervous/anxious and all of a sudden all the fast food joints around me were standing out more, I started thinking it would be fun to go out to eat tonight etc. Then I really focused on my physical signs and what time it was and if I was really physically hungry or just getting nervous about actually following through on my promise to myself on getting a healthier relationship with food. I also found that it is very easy for me in my job to go all day without eating and then go "crazy" when I get home. I actually had to ask a client if they minded me eating my parfait today because I mismanaged my time and was in a session close to the 5 hour mark when my tummy began to yell at me.

2. Habits I feel represent a healthy relationship with food - Choosing healthy food options and not binging on bad foods. Eating a healthy well rounded diet with out connecting my food choices to every single emotion! This will be my biggest hurdle!

Semi recent picture of me (at my recent heaviest). Luckily my little peanut if covering up some of me lol.

And at my first race (Get Lucky 7k in Minneapolis) with my biggest fan. Did 5 miles in exactly one hour!

Sometime struggles are necessary

I chose the name of my blog for a very specific reason. I love the symbolism and story of the butterfly. I will post below what I am talking about. I decided to start a blog because (feeling a little hypocritical) as a therapist I often suggest my clients journal. I NEVER journal, until now that is. Really if anyone ever reads my blogs or not is not important to me but more so I can get my feelings, challenges etc out and start working on real change! I signed up for slimgenics which I have started and quit since last september. My current weight is about 35 lbs more than what my Dr wants me to be so here we go. I am not sure what my problem has been with being so stuck and not loosing any weight but here we go! I hope if anyone is reading this that you enjoy the story of the butterfly!

The story of the butterfly
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.

My Daughter with a little friend she found. She has a strange love (obsession) for butterflies. I think of her story struggling to get into this world at 27 weeks premature and not even 2 lbs at birth. She has truly turned into a butterfly.